Parenthood and your Relationship After Having Kids

Somewhere between bedtime routines, laundry, and one person asking, “What are we eating tonight?” Romance still deserves a place on the calendar.

On a side note, a meal prep guide or a recipe book can really help in this situation. I find a recipe book extremely helpful when i can’t think of what to cook for dinner especially when I’m feeling totally clueless and tired of the same dishes on repeat.

Parenthood and your Relationship: Surviving the Chaos

I love lists, I’m at the point of time in my life where i forget what I’m doing right in the middle of it. I tend to use a lot of cute notebooks and journals to keep my activities in order. Of course I keep a nice collection of colored pens to accompany it because colour is a must, it just gives me incentive to complete the stuff on my lists.

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As parents, we naturally give a great deal of our time to the little people we love. There are meals to prepare. Laundry to fold. Toys to pick up. Appointments to remember. School activities to attend. Bedtime routines to survive. Once again, somehow, there is always someone who needs a snack…yes I admit sometimes that person is me.

At times, by the end of the day, I can feel as though every ounce of energy has been lovingly distributed to everyone else.

Then, just when the house finally becomes quiet, I may look across the room at my husband and realize that we have spent the entire day together…Without actually spending any time together.

There may have been conversations, of course.

“Did you remember the diapers?”

“What time is the appointment tomorrow?”

“Can you take out the garbage?”

“Where is the other shoe?”

Very romantic.

I know.

However, somewhere underneath the daily responsibilities, meal planning, parenting decisions, and conversations about missing socks, there are still two people who fell in love. Two people who were husband and wife before becoming Mom and Dad.

And I believe that relationship deserves to be protected too.

Because while becoming parents can add a beautiful new chapter to your story, it should not mean the chapter about the two of you has to end.

Parenthood and your Relationship: A Strong Family Often Begins With a Strong Foundation

Before our son arrived, our relationship was the foundation on which our family was built. Then, suddenly, that foundation has been tested by sleepless nights, financial responsibilities, busy schedules and parenting disagreements. Then there’s the realization that raising tiny humans requires far more teamwork than anyone could have fully explained beforehand.

Parenthood can be beautiful. It can also be exhausting. When we are both tired, stressed, and trying our best, it can become easy for our relationship to be placed on autopilot. A kind of survival mode kicks in.

Not because the love has disappeared. But because life has become very full. That is why maintaining a strong foundation as parents matters.

A healthy relationship does not have to be perfect. Disagreements will happen. Patience will occasionally disappear. Someone will probably load the dishwasher incorrectly.

However, I think a strong foundation is built by continuing to choose each other. We try to communicate honestly, show appreciation, and remember that we are on the same team. Well, this is my belief anyways and based on my own situation and circumstances. I am in no way a professional and this is all my opinion and in no way advice to you.

We are not simply two people trying to survive the chaos.

We are partners.

Parenthood and your Relationship: How we built a Strong Foundation as Parents

We realize that our relationship can be strengthened in small everyday ways. Romance does not always require a weekend getaway, expensive gifts, or a perfectly planned date night. Sometimes, we built our strongest connections in the ordinary moments.

1. Remembering that we are on the Same Team

Parenting can occasionally feel like a competitive sport. One parent thinks bedtime should be at 8:00. The other believes 8:30 is perfectly acceptable. One parent gives the child one cookie. The other enters the room to discover that the child has somehow negotiated for three.

Instead of treating each other as opponents, we try to remember that both of us are working toward the same goal: raising our family while doing the best we can. Hubby and I try to come to an agreement when it comes to making decisions when it comes to son-son. I am usually the one to cave first and end up giving the three cookies. Then hubby comes in and rolls his eyes and tell me I’m the weak link lol! But I realize son-son knows exactly who he can misbehave with and its usually me.

Sometimes we need tough love. Remember “No” is a perfectly good answer. I am still trying to come to terms with that because those puppy eyes always get the better of me and I cave. We try to have a united front with son-son. Our parenting decisions have not always be agreed upon immediately, most times we have differences in opinion.

However, with respect and communication we work through those differences. In case you need it, the following book is very informative and helpful in this area.

2. We try to Communicate About More Than the Children

It is easy for every conversation to become about the family schedule. And yes, those conversations are important. Someone needs to know when the doctor’s appointment is. Someone needs to remember that the school project is due on Friday. And someone definitely needs to know why the toddler has suddenly decided that socks are unacceptable.

Still, make space for conversations about each other.

I try to ask things like:

• How are you feeling?
• What has been on your mind lately?
• What are you thinking about?
• Is there anything stressing you out at work?
• What are you looking forward to over the weekend?
• Do you need help with anything this week?

Sometimes, just being there and being supportive can truly be more meaningful than having a grand romantic gesture.

3. We try to Show Appreciation for the Little Things

A simple “Thank you” can go a long way. A simple thank you to hubby for preparing dinner, or handling bedtime. I appreciate it so much when he steps in like a literal knight in shining armor.

I thank him for picking up something from the store, especially when I’ve been trying to do it but just not getting around to it.

I tell him I am grateful to him for making me laugh, especially when the day has been particularly difficult.

When we feel appreciated, we are often reminded that our efforts are being seen. I know I feel wonderful when hubby does the dishes especially when I’m feeling exhausted. It’s like he’s saying “I see you” without even saying a word.

And let’s be honest, after a long day of parenting, hearing “I appreciate you” can feel almost as wonderful as being handed a hot coffee that has actually remained hot.

Almost.

4. We try to make time for each other

Not every couple has the ability to take regular weekend trips. Childcare may be difficult to arrange. Schedules may be busy and budgets are limited.

That is okay.

We try to steal a moment as it presents itself. Here’s a few that we try:

• Having coffee together before son-son wake up.
• Sitting on the patio outside together after bedtime.
• Taking a short evening walk. (son-son is included)
• Cooking breakfast together; most times he’s in charge of making the tea and coffee.
• Watching a movie or an episode of our favourite series we enjoy.
• Playing a card or board game. (son-son is included)
• Putting our phones away for 30 minutes.
• Sharing one good thing about our day.
• Going for a drive and listening to music. (son-son is included)

The amount of time matters less than the intention behind it. Even a small moment of undivided attention can help us feel connected.

5. We Pray as a Couple and as a Family

Prayer is also an important part of building a strong foundation as a couple and as a family. When we pray together, we are remember that we are on the same team. We also feel like our relationship is stronger not only by communication and quality time, but also by our shared faith. Praying together creates a safe space to express gratitude, seek guidance, ask for forgiveness, and support one another through difficult seasons. We also pray together with son-son as a family. Prayer also helps him understand the importance of faith, love, patience, and togetherness. Whether it is a short prayer before bed, a prayer before a family meal, or a moment spent asking God for direction, these simple practices can bring the family closer and encourage a home built on love, trust, and God’s presence.

Parenthood and your Relationship: Remembering What We Loved Before We Became Parents

This is one of the most important things I believe we can do as a couple. We Think back to before son-son arrived. What did we enjoy doing together? We loved going to the movies. We loved weekend drives, that was our thing. Maybe you enjoyed trying new restaurants, going to the beach, hiking, dancing, traveling, exercising, or simply spending a lazy Sunday doing absolutely nothing.

Then children came along.

And suddenly, a “lazy Sunday” may have been replaced with breakfast negotiations and someone crying because their banana broke in half.

Parenthood changes life.

However, you do not have to leave everything you enjoyed before becoming parents behind. Find small ways to bring those activities back. If you loved trying restaurants, arrange a lunch date. If you loved going for walks, ask the grandparents to watch the children for an hour.

If you enjoyed exercising together, go for a run or take a fitness class. Maybe, traveling was something you loved, plan an overnight trip when the opportunity arises.

Doing things you both enjoyed before becoming parents can remind you that beneath your parenting roles, you are still the same people who fell in love. You have simply gained a few more responsibilities.

And possibly more laundry.

Parenthood and your Relationship: Why Time as a Couple Matters Too

As the family calendar fills up, one thing we should not be forget is that time as a couple matters too. I know. Finding that time can feel almost impossible.

It’s really difficult to find time between work, parenting, meals, laundry, activities and appointments. Of course there’s the daily question of, “What are we eating today?”. We sometimes place quality time at the bottom of the list.

However, a relationship existed before children arrived. And while that relationship now involves discussing bedtime routines, missing socks, and whose turn it is to clean up. Our relationship still deserves to be nurtured. So sometimes we call his grandparents and once available they are happy to spend time and look after him for awhile.

If his grandparents aren’t available we call his favorite auntie (who is bribed with snacks)or a babysitter to watch him for a night. Then, just like that, a small retreat can be planned. No elaborate international vacation required. No five-star budget necessary.

Just time together.

And perhaps one entire meal where nobody asks you to cut their food into smaller pieces. All we can do is give it a go and try our best.